The New Crouton: Yes, Salad Innovation Can Happen

Wait a second, I thought this blog was about being a gluttonous pig? About eschewing healthy eating and embracing all things indulgent? Why do I see salad greens?

Well, here at Live It, Don't Diet, we're fans of most food. We just like to take food up a notch (or down depending on your prerogative...and not Bobby Brown's).

For today's submission, I present you the new crouton: a bag of kettle chips. Jalapeno flavor to be exact. Just crumble a bag of your favorite chips over a salad. The thicker and crunchier the chip the better.

Not only does this improve your street cred (trust me, you'll get looks; you'll get stares), but it is mind-blowingly delicious. The extreme crunch in your mouth will make that salad go down much easier. It's actually not that bad health-wise either, just ditch the ranch in favor of a vinaigrette.

Depending on the chip flavor you choose, you can really elevate (or demote) your meal. For a cool-as-California mood, go with Cool Ranch Doritos. For a spicy, urban flair go with some Hot Cheetos. For an east coast vibe, go with Salt & Vinegar. For a total trash person aesthetic, hold the salad, eat the chips from a split open bag (with the bag acting as plate) and lick your fingers after each bite. Then lick the bag. Then cry in the shower. Wait, trash people don't shower.

It's your life, it's 2012. Live it, don't diet.  

Between Bread

Bread, mayo, turkey, tomato, mayo, cheddar, pepperoni, mayo, turkey, bread.
In that order.

Mayonnaise is required on both sides of the bread. If not, that's casually racist. I won't stand or sit for that.

Oh, and mayo in the middle, too. And licked off the knife. If Miracle Whip is even mentioned, you are dead to me.




A couple ground rules for a livable sandwich:
1. It better be Hellmann's.
2. Sharpest cheddar possible.
3. Don't forget to salt and pepper it.
4. Dorito's will be added inside the sandwich, but not before you are ready to bite.